Memories

Author's Warning: This chapter begins a series of several which deal with adult subject matter.
They do so in order to address the consequences which occur as a result of certain actions.
It is the sole opinion of this author that it is done in a tasteful manner which supports
sound moral views. No offense is intended and these opinions are strictly
those of this author.

Jenny drove up to the stable only slightly later than her normal time. She pulled Rob’s keys from her purse and carried them in, wondering what she’d find. When she rounded the corner and looked into the office, he was sitting at the desk just like normal, looking through papers.

“Morning,” she stepped in a bit cautiously, “Thought you might need these.”

He gave her a big grin and reached out to take the keys, “Morning, Squirt! I thought you might be later than this today.”

“Not me,” he shook his head, “I told you I wasn’t drunk. So, did you have a good time last night?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “I did. You obviously got home OK. No bar room brawls or anything?”

She sat down on the edge of the desk and he leaned back in his chair. She was amazed at how good he looked after the events of the previous night. She knew of at least five glasses he had emptied while she was there.

“Mitch told me last night that he loves me,” she shared, “I think he really meant it.”

“I’m sure he meant it,” Rob leaned in toward her and put a hand on her knee, “He doesn’t throw that word around without meaning it. What about you? Do you love him?”

“Head over heels,” she confessed, “I miss him every minute we’re apart.”

He was smiling that proud father smile, “I couldn’t be happier, Honey. I know he’ll take good care of you…and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather see my son with than you.”

Just as she started to comment, she noticed a mark on his chest. He was wearing a flannel shirt, as usual, and as he leaned toward her, just inside his collar she could see a bruise and what looked distinctly like teeth marks. He noticed her looking at him strangely and raised his brows as if to question her.

He stood up and gave her a cocky smirk that reminded her of Mitch, “No, I didn’t deserve it—I earned it! And that’s all you need to know. Now, don’t you have a job to do?”

“Yes, sir,” she jumped up, giggling, “Right away, sir…And to think I was worried about you two!”

When Jenny and Mitch were safely on their way to a farm call, he pulled the truck off to the side of the road. She watched, puzzled, as he got out, walked around to her side of the truck and opened her door.

“This,” he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately, “There. Now we can go to work.”

“Something was wrong,” he came back around and got in to drive, “I was suffering from withdrawal. I love you, Princess.”

“I love you, too,” she smiled, “And I was suffering a bit myself. It’s very hard to say hello at the clinic without rushing into your arms.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t know how long I can keep up this charade. I don’t like pretending.”

“Neither do I,” she was petting Panyon, “I’m not very good at deceit.”

“We’ll work it out, I promise,” he reached over and put his hand on her knee, “So, how was Dad this morning?”

“Next time you see him,” she advised, pointing to her collarbone, “Look right about here, under his shirt collar.”

“Because he’s got teeth marks there,” she giggled, “Apparently he and Paula didn’t exactly fight last night.”

“Well,” she was still giggling, “I certainly hope it wasn’t someone else!”

“Jeez,” he shook his head, “I don’t think I want to know any more than that. Was he hung over?”

“Nope,” she reported, “I really don’t think he was drunk, Mitch. He must be one of those people that can drink a lot and not show it.”

“No,” she answered, “I think he understood. But it might be a good idea for you to kind of talk to him about it. Just let him know you did it because you love him.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “I told Grandma I might not make it home for dinner.”

“Is she OK with you being gone so much?” He worried, “I mean we can hang out there more if you want.”

Mitch and Jenny walked in together. Paula was working at the stove and Rob was leaning in the doorway. The boys could be heard upstairs.

“Don’t worry about it, Son,” Rob waved his hand, “I’m not mad at you. If you’d been drinking like that, I’d have taken more than your keys.”

“You know, Mitch,” Paula observed, not leaving the stove, “Your father wasn’t drunk…and he would have let me drive on his own, if he’d gotten drunk.”

“Yeah, well,” Mitch remarked, a bit of an edge to his voice, “I didn’t want to gamble with his life, Mom…or with yours.”

“It’s history now,” Rob shrugged and crossed his arms. As he did, the collar of his shirt pulled back enough to reveal the mark Jenny had reported.

“Rob,” Paula walked over and wrapped her arms around him, “Don’t encourage him.”

“Mmm,” he put his arms around her, “Who should I encourage? You, perhaps?”

Paula reached up and gently kissed the bruise, “Why don’t you call the boys to dinner…and Mitch, you behave.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” he laughed, “You telling me to behave after last night!”

“Mitch!” Rob turned on him with his sternest voice, “You will not speak to her that way!”

“I’m sorry,” Mitch bowed his head, “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, Mom.”

Jenny watched in silent amazement through this entire conversation. She wasn’t quite sure what was being played out, but she was certain that more than words were at work.

“All right, Mitch,” Paula nodded, “Jenny, Honey, what would you like to drink?”

“OK,” Jenny sat on the sofa at Mitch’s house, “What was really going on tonight with your folks?”

“That whole little episode about last night,” Jenny went on, “Somehow I got the idea a lot more was being said than the actual words.”

“Why?” He grinned, “Just because Mom was defending Dad, Dad was defending Mom, and I was coming down on both of them?”

“Well,” Jenny pointed out, “Your dad seemed fine about you taking his keys; almost proud of you…but Paula seemed like she didn’t think you should have.”

“She didn’t,” he revealed, “When I told her last night what I was going to do, she told me it wasn’t necessary. I think she wanted to be sure she was on the record with that opinion in front of Dad. She wanted to be sure he knew she didn’t think he was drunk.”

“He won’t tolerate anyone being disrespectful of Mom,” Mitch shrugged, “I know that. I was being a smart-ass and he called me on it. That’s all.”

“Look, Jen,” he smiled, “There’s a reason why my brother’s are well- behaved. Why Dutch doesn’t spend the night when Dad’s there. Dad rules with an iron fist. It’s his home. His rules. He has every right to run his ship the way he sees fit. He’s a good father and a good husband. What’s wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” she remarked, “I just wonder if you’ll be that way?”

He drew a deep breath, “Jen, it may not always look like it, but I have an immense amount of respect for Dad. I know he’s not perfect, but I hope I can at least come close to being as good a father and husband as he is…He always does what he believes is right. I try very hard to do the same.”

“He’s just so different to me,” she reflected, “Loving, gentle, easy-going…then I hear him scold one of his sons and he’s like a drill sergeant. It makes me wonder if he’s going to do that to me sometime.”

“Come here,” he leaned back on the sofa, pulling her into his arms, “Don’t be afraid, Sweetheart. Dad very rarely uses that voice to a woman. The first time he scolded Chelsea, she was horrified. It was my fault, too. I said something I shouldn’t have and she told me to shut up. So, he put both of us in our places very quickly and effectively. I doubt seriously if he’ll ever use that tone with you.”

“I remember him scolding my mom once,” she recalled, “I don’t think I could stand for him to scold me like that.”

“What about you, Mitch?” She wondered, “Would you ever scold me like that?”

“Never,” he assured, “And I really don’t think Dad uses that tone with Mom, either. I’ve certainly never heard him do it. Honey, I love you, I’m not going to do anything to hurt you.”

“Not really,” he chuckled, “They weren’t home enough to fight. They really just both did their own thing…and that’s not they way I want to live either. That’s almost as bad as fighting all the time. I want someone to share my life with, not just live in the same house with me.”

“Mitch,” Jenny asked softly, “That voice your dad gets…do you have that voice?”

He sighed, “Ask my brothers…yes, Jen, I do. But, you know, you scolded Jason pretty good the other day too.”

He pulled her up and kissed her, “I’d rather die, Baby. I swear to you, Jen…I’ll never hurt you.”

Jenny was hard at work the next morning, when she heard someone come up behind her. She turned around to see Paula standing there, holding a small stack of papers in her hand.

“Morning, Jenny,” Paula smiled, “Take a break. I want to talk to you about something.”

Jenny came out of the stall and leaned her shovel against the wall, “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no,” Paula shook her head, “I just want to talk to you about spring. Business is going to start picking up and I wondered how you’d feel about teaching some of the beginners lessons?”

“OK,” Paula handed her the papers, “These are some handouts we give to our students. You need to read through them. Spend some time riding our horses, so you can decide which ones you prefer to use. Rob and I are going to start looking for a high school boy to do more of the cleaning.”

“Sort of,” Paula chuckled, “Mostly it’s that Rob doesn’t like to see women doing hard labor. He has a tender spot for you anyway.”

“We’d like for you to start spending some time with Chelsea,” Paula posed, “When she gets married, she and Dutch intend to start a family right away. I think we need someone else ready to take over the website and her other duties when Chelsea becomes a mother.”

“If you’re willing,” Paula nodded, “Rob doesn’t want to trust that to just anyone. He feels like you’re the best choice…since he considers you family. It may turn into enough hours that you’d have to choose between working here or working for Doc.”

“If I worked here full time,” Jenny reflected, “Mitch and I wouldn’t have to hide our relationship anymore.”

“I thought you might see it that way,” Paula smiled, “And I’m sure you’d still find plenty of ways to see him.”

“Great,” Paula put her hands on her hips, “We’ll start looking for someone else to do the dirty work then.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jenny got brave, “Something that has nothing to do with work?”

“You said Rob has a tender spot for me,” Jenny repeated, “Does that bother you?”

“Jenny,” Paula sighed, “I know Rob always wanted a little girl. It’s one of the few things in life I wasn’t able to give him. I also know that he was around when you really needed a father figure. The two of you fill a need for each other. I’d be pretty selfish to deny that to either of you.”

Paula seemed amused, “I don’t have to trust you with him, Jenny. I trust him with you.”

“Well,” Paula predicted, “If you play your cards right, he may be your father-in-law one of these days. Mitch is pretty enamored with you.”

“Do you want an honest answer?” Paula was frank when Jenny nodded, “If you’re in love with Mitch for who he is, then I think it’s wonderful. If you’re only interested in him because he’s Rob’s son, then I strongly suggest you put a stop to it now.”

“Is that what you think?” Jenny challenged, “That I only want him because he’s Rob’s son?”

“I’ll tell you right now,” Paula stated flatly, “If I find out that’s the case, you’ll wish you’d never met me.”

There was a knock on the door. Rob stepped in, “Hey, Ladies. Am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all, Honey,” Paula gave him an innocent smile, “I was just explaining to Jenny how things are about to change around here…That we’re going to hire someone else to do the heavy work.”

“Yes,” Jenny smiled, a bit weakly, “It’s fine. Whatever you want. I’d better get back to work now.”

Jenny stirred in her bed. She could feel the heat around her increasing. She was coughing. Her lungs felt heavy and her throat burned from the smoke. Her eyes stung as she opened them and saw the flames all around her. He was reaching into her bed, carrying her gently out to safety. He’d done it a million times before, and now he was doing it again. He laid her down on the soft lawn, a safe distance from the burning house. He headed back in. Jenny watched him go, but this time when he turned around to look at her one last time, she was horror struck. It wasn’t her daddy this time…It was Mitch. She jumped up to run after him. She had to stop him…She screamed.

The room was completely dark, as Jenny bolted up in her bed and gasped for air. She was covered with sweat, there were tears streaming down her face and her head was pounding. She listened. The house was quiet. She hadn’t cried out loud enough to wake her grandmother. She looked at the clock to see it read 2:00. The same time. Exactly when the fire had been when she was four. She lay back down and tried to force herself back to sleep.

Rob was sitting at his desk when Jenny knocked on the door. He looked up and his face immediately grew concerned. He stood up and walked over to the door.

He instinctively shut the door and reached up to draw the blinds, “OK, Sweetie. Tell me what happened. Did you and Mitch have a fight?”

She shook her head and he pulled her into his arms. She started sobbing and he held her for several minutes, “Shhh. It’s OK, Jenny. I’m here. It’s all right. Come here…sit down and tell me what’s wrong.”

He led her to the couch and she sat next to him, “Everything…I’m afraid I’ve messed everything up…Oh, Daddy, please don’t get mad at me. I can’t stand it if you do.”

“Promise me?” She requested, “I’ve heard you do that thing with your boys. Please don’t do that to me…”

He gave her a half smile and put his arm around her, “Jenny, you’re not one of my boys. Did you do something you shouldn’t have, Punkin? It’s all right. Just tell me about it and I’ll help you fix it. I promise.”

“The other day,” she began, “When Paula was talking to me about work…I asked her something I shouldn’t have.”

“Enough,” he reported, “Honey, don’t be afraid of Paula. She’s just very protective of her boys…and Mitch is one of her boys. She just doesn’t want to see him hurt again.”

“I know what she thinks,” he confessed, “And I understand why she thinks it.”

“Yes,” he assured, “But I have more information to go on than Paula does. Things look different from where she stands.”

“I’m afraid she’ll tell Mitch what she thinks,” Jenny confided, “And then I’ll lose him.”

“Mitch loves you, Jenny,” Rob reminded, “He’ll take your word over hers…Besides, I don’t think she’ll interfere. I can’t promise you she won’t, but I have a pretty strong feeling about it…based on past experiences.”

“Like once when she started to interfere in something and I stopped her,” he divulged, “I don’t think she’s forgotten that.”

Jenny decided to let that comment go, “I don’t want Paula to be my enemy, but it seems like I keep doing things that pit us against each other.”

“She’s not your enemy,” he chuckled, “Although you are a thorn in her side at times, no doubt.”

He looked at her for a moment, then sighed, “Jenny, I’m going to tell you something. This stays between us, OK?”

Rob leaned back into the corner of the sofa, reminding her of Mitch, “Jenny, when Paula and I got married, we planned on a big family. The whole reason she quit work was because we wanted to start a family right away. We were only married three months before she got pregnant. Hindsight’s 20/20, you know. As much as I love our boys, I wish we’d had more time to ourselves before they came along. You might keep that in mind when you get married…I also wish I’d never told her something.”

“I told her that I wanted a little girl,” he confessed, “I said being around you made me want a little squirt of my own to spoil and pamper.”

“Jenny,” he went on, “Paula was really sick with Jason. She lost weight, instead of gaining. There were days I couldn’t go to work because I was afraid to leave her here alone. Then, when she had to have a c-section, she almost died.”

“Most people don’t,” he continued, “I had never been so scared in my life, Jenny. I was in there with her, and they told me to keep her talking or they were going to lose her. So, I was freaking out, and trying not to let her know it. It was our first anniversary and I thought she was going to die and leave me with a baby to raise. All I could think was that I couldn’t let her see I was scared, or she’d get afraid too. I just held her hand and kept talking to try and keep her conscious.”

“Yes,” he recalled, “and I swore it would never happen again. The doctor said she shouldn’t try to have any more kids and I said that was fine with me. I wasn’t about to risk her life. One was enough.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “And that’s why we don’t talk about this. We don’t ever want the twins to feel like we didn’t want them.”

“Back in those days,” he told her, “There wasn’t a pill that women could use while nursing. So, the doctor told us that as long as Jason was still nursing, we should be safe if we just used condoms.”

Jenny felt herself blush at his openness. She’d never talked about birth control with a man before. Rob didn’t seem to notice.

“Well,” he shook his head, “the doctor was wrong. Paula came to me one day and said she wasn’t sure, but she was feeling a lot like she did when she was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. She went to the doctor and sure enough, she was pregnant again. Jenny, I can’t explain how I felt. I blamed myself completely and thought I’d sentenced her to death.”

“No,” he shook his head, “She told me maybe this would be my little girl. Then we found out it was going to be twins.”

“I was making all kinds of deals with God about then,” he remembered, “Promising that if He’d just let her and the babies live, I’d never touch her again. I was afraid every day with her might be my last. I really was willing to let that part of our marriage go, if it meant saving her life. She kept telling me that God had two more babies for us and it would all work out just fine. She really didn’t like my idea of how to prevent it from happening again. She told me that was no way to have a happy marriage and she wouldn’t live like that.”

“Well,” he informed her, “I talked to the doctor. Back then, a husband had rights when it came to that kind of thing. I told him that when he was doing the c-section for the twins, I wanted him to fix things so we wouldn’t have to worry.”

“You mean,” Jenny interrupted, “You talked to him without Paula’s consent?”

“Yes,” he divulged, “And he agreed to it. She wasn’t as sick with the twins, so the surgery really wasn’t as bad, but there were some scary moments. She lived though, and so did the twins.”

“No,” he recalled, “She was hurt…I know she kind of felt like I’d betrayed her…taken something I shouldn’t have…but she let it go. She knew I did it because I loved her and I didn’t want to risk her life again. It probably was wrong of me, but I was trying to protect her and I know she wouldn’t have given her consent. Jenny, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost her…I don’t know how I would have survived. Anyway, now, you remind her that she never gave me that little girl I wanted. A lot of feelings from all those years ago have kind of resurfaced since you showed up. She’s struggling with it.”

“I don’t think so,” he leaned up, “Just don’t take things personally, OK? We all have our own private demons we have to face from time to time. She’ll deal with it and move on. She’s a tough lady…the strongest, bravest woman I’ve ever known. She’ll be OK.”

“And what about you?” She asked quietly, “Have I put you in the middle of a mess?”

“No,” he put his arm around her, “I’m fine. I don’t want you to worry about me and Paula, OK? She loves me and trusts me and has walked to hell and back with me…And I love her and trust her and would die for her or kill for her…I don’t know how I’m going to survive without her when she’s gone.”

“Well,” he gave her that sad smile she’d seen before, “Paula swears we’re going to get really old and die together…But in my heart, I know it won’t be that way. My grandpa lost Grandma; Dad lost Mom…”

He stopped talking and closed his eyes. His arm was still around her and she felt him gripping her shoulder. When he opened his eyes, tears started flowing down his cheeks.

“I know I’m going to lose her someday,” his voice trembled, “And I don’t know how I’ll go on without her…She is my life, Jenny. She’s like the air I breathe.”

“Hey,” she reached up to wipe his tears, “I promise, I’ll still be here…I’ll help you, Daddy.”

He looked at her and smiled, “Thank you, Sweetheart. I’m going to need all the help I can get.”

“Do you think I should talk to her?” Jenny offered, “Convince her that I really do love Mitch?”

“No,” he advised, “Actions speak louder than words…Especially where Paula is concerned. Just give it time, Jenny. She’ll see it for herself…And don’t worry. Mitch is very much his own man. He knows what he wants and how to get it.”

“You say that like…” she started, “You also said you know more about this than Paula…”

“Honey,” he hugged her, “you and I have had a lot of heart to heart talks lately. I don’t pass this stuff on to Paula…not unless it directly affects her and she needs to know it. Mitch also talked to me recently. I’m well aware of how he feels about you.”

“Should I talk to him about this?” She asked, “I know he’s close to Paula. I don’t want to make things worse…but I don’t want to hide this from him either.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I think you should talk to him. I can’t tell you enough, Jenny, that when something is bothering you, he’s the one you should talk to about it. That’s the most important thing in making a relationship work, Jenny. You taking your concerns, problems, worries, whatever it is to him…you have to let him fix it for you. It shows him you trust him. If you give that to him, he’ll do anything in the world for you.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” she smiled, “You always fix things for me too, you know.”

He chuckled, “Probably too much. It’s not my job to fix it now. It’s Mitch’s job…But I’ll never turn you away, Sweetie…I think you and Mitch are going to stay together, but I want you to know that if something changes down the road, you’ll still be my little girl, OK?”

It was one of those afternoons that Doc asked Jenny to stay at the clinic. Jenny hastily scribbled down a note to Mitch, telling him she needed to talk to him alone and wanted to go to his house after work. When he returned from a farm call, she seized the chance to deliver the note.

“Mitch,” she called from the counter, “I have a message for you from a client.”

“Thank you, Jenny,” he smiled and took it nonchalantly. He went into his office briefly, then returned, “Jenny, would you pull the file for Mom and Dad’s stable? I need to check something…bring it to my office when you find it, please.”

She did as she was told and when she walked into his office he stood up, looked her in the eye and asked under his breath, “Are you OK?”

“I’m sure,” she told him, “Do you have eggs? I was thinking it’s about time for another omelet.”

Mitch was already starting dinner when Jenny arrived. He greeted her with a hug and kiss. She immediately went to work in the kitchen with him.

“Later,” she dropped bread in the toaster, “Let’s eat, then we’ll talk about it, OK?”

“I’m sure,” she hugged him from behind, “I didn’t mean to make you worry about me. I just wanted to be alone with you tonight so we could talk about some things.”

After the dishes were washed and put away, Mitch tossed the towel on the counter and turned toward Jenny. He reached over and took her hand, pulling her into his arms. She snuggled close and felt his lips brush against her ear.

“Are you ready to talk now, Princess?” He whispered, “Whatever it is, I promise I’ll fix it.”

She felt tear rush to her eyes with those words, “I know you will, Mitch. That’s why I need to talk to you about it.”

“Come on, Honey,” he lead her to the couch, pulling her down to cuddle up, “Talk to me, Baby, I’m all yours.”

She took a deep breath. Her head was on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, his arms and legs wrapped around her. He knew she felt safe like that; she had told him so. He was trying to make this easier for her.

“Mitch,” she started, “When I was little, right after the fire, I had nightmares every night. I had the same dream, that the house was burning and my daddy was carrying me out and then he would leave me there alone and go back in. I’d wake up crying every night about 2:00, which was the time of the real fire.

“I had that dream over and over again. I didn’t stop having it until after I met your dad. I don’t know if one thing was connected to the other or not. It may have just happened that way. I was just a kid then, you know.”

“He probably made you feel safe again,” Mitch observed, “It probably was connected.”

“Maybe,” she began caressing the part of his chest that was exposed, “Anyway, the dream went away and didn’t come back again until after the incident in Kansas with Kenny’s dad. Then I started having it again for a while. I guess what happened scared me enough to trigger something in my subconscious to revive all those old insecurities.”

“Fear,” he offered, kissing the top of her head, “You were afraid and felt like you weren’t in control of things again.”

“It finally went away again,”she reported, “And I really thought it wouldn’t come back…”

“But it has,” he finished for her, brushing the hair back from her face, “Now that we’re together.”

“Mitch,” she felt tears again, “It’s worse now…Because it’s not Daddy in the dream anymore…it’s you.”

He tilted her face up so he could look into her eyes, “Jen, you’re not going to lose me. I’m here to stay, Sweetheart. I love you.”

He reached down and kissed her gently. She raised herself so that she was over him, looking into his deep blue eyes. She knew she had to tell him the rest.

“Mitch,” her voice was trembling, “I know why I’m afraid…Please believe that I love you.”

“I believe you,” he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again, this time with the hunger that made her head spin, “You need to believe that I love you, Sweetheart.”

“I need to tell you something,” she confessed, “Something that has been going on between Paula and me…and your dad.”

“Remember when I kept thinking your dad was in trouble?” She recalled and he nodded, “Well, there was a reason. Mitch, I don’t want you to think I was hiding things from you. I just didn’t know how to explain it…I still don’t…But I can’t carry this around with me anymore…Please believe me when I say I love you and I don’t want to live without you.”

She could tell he was bracing himself for the worst thing he could imagine, “Just tell me, Jenny…then we’ll deal with it, OK?”

“After you and I had that long talk,” she reminded, “the day we went for the ride, I had a long talk with your dad. I told him some of the stuff I had told you, but not all of it. Mostly I just told him how important he was to me. That’s the day he told me he thought of me like a daughter and that I could call him Daddy.”

“We were in the stable and we were sitting together on one of the straw bales over by the wall,” she explained, “He had hugged me and I was still kind of snuggled up next to him with his arms around me…it was perfectly innocent.”

“I can imagine,” he chuckled, “You did hear the story about Dad walking in on me and Mom, didn’t you? Also perfectly innocent…But I thought he might kill me.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “I did hear that story…at least I had my clothes on…Anyway, I figured he got in trouble for it. It was almost a week before I even talked to him after that because of all the woodcutting. He said everything was fine and not to worry.”

“Well,” she went on, “I think things have been festering. A few days ago, Paula came to me about work. She said they wanted to hire a guy to do the dirty work and have me teach lessons and start learning what Chelsea does.”

“She made a remark about Rob having a tender spot for me,” Jenny divulged, “And I questioned her on it. Mitch, she basically told me that she thinks the only reason I’m with you is because you’re Rob’s son.”

“Mmm,” he mused, “So, you think she’s going to try to interfere with our relationship.”

“She made it clear that if she’s right,” Jenny told him, “She’ll make me pay dearly.”

“So why are you worried?” He asked, almost nonchalantly. When she looked at him with horror on her face, he added, “She’s not right, Jenny…So you don’t need to be worried.”

“Honey,” he pulled her back down close to him, “Of course, I believe you. Listen, Mom is very protective of her family…all of us. When she thought Dutch was a source of pain for me, she gave him a pretty rough time. Now, she’d defend him, because she thinks of him as her nephew. Just give it some time, Baby. Before you know it, she’ll be defending you like you’re her daughter.”

“But you don’t, Jenny,” he kissed the top of her head again, “You want me…I have first hand knowledge of that, Dear. Do you remember that night when we all went out together?”

“Do you also remember that I had a birthday?” He prodded, “Jenny, I’m 28 years old. My father’s wife does not tell me what to do, OK? I’m a grown man. I make my own decisions. Just because I call her ‘mom’ and care about her, doesn’t mean she gets to choose who I fall in love with.”

She reached up and touched his face, “I’m sorry, Mitch. I don’t doubt you. I’m just so afraid I’ll lose you.”

“It’s not just Paula,” she told him, “That’s just what brought it all to the surface. I remember that day when you left me and Panyon in the truck…I watched you walk off into the snow and I was terrified something would happen to you. Mitch, one day I had a father and the next day I didn’t. It had nothing to do with him loving me.”

“Come here,” he gathered her even closer, “I understand, Sweetheart. My folks…the Martins, they were killed in a car accident. I do understand what you mean, Baby. But I promise you, I’m not a reckless person. I’m careful at work; I’m careful behind the wheel; I don’t take unnecessary chances…and if I walk into a fire, it’ll be to save you and you can bet I’m walking back out with you in my arms.”

She kissed his chest, “Mitch, I know if I could just sleep like this, with you here next to me, I wouldn’t have that dream…”

“Shh,” he comforted, “It can’t be that way, Honey. Not right now…But the next time you wake up from that dream, I want you to call me. Maybe if you hear my voice and know I’m OK, it’ll help you go back to sleep.”

“That’s OK,” he lifted her face and kissed her, “You can wake me up anytime you want, Baby…Now, promise me you’ll call me, OK?”

“Hmmm,” he ran his hand down her arm and over to her hip, “Yeah, you do feel pretty good.”

She giggled, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, do you know that?”

He raised up, lifting her with him and kissed her firmly. She put her hands around his neck and he delved deep into her mouth with his tongue. She felt her emotions spinning out of control as his hands lifted her sweater and caressed her back. She wrapped her legs around him and he stood up, holding her against him like that, still kissing her.

The next thing she was aware of was him laying her on the bed, lifting her sweater, pushing her bra up and kissing her bare breasts. She gasped at the sensation of his lips and tongue on places where they had never been before. His mustache tickled as he kissed his way down her stomach and stopped at the top of her jeans.

She was breathing hard when he hovered above her, his mouth just over hers. She could see his eyes looking into hers, dark with passion. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to pull him closer.

“Jen,” his voice was low and husky, “I promise you, I will make love to you…not here and not now…but I will. Believe me, Baby. I won’t let you down.”

“You have me,” he kissed her again, this time softly, “I’m yours, Baby…all yours.”

He kissed her hungrily again and this time he let more of his weight rest on her. She could feel him pressing hard against her and she began pulling his shirt loose from his jeans. When he didn’t stop her, she slid her hands along his bare back and reveled in the feel of his skin under her fingers. He pulled back and gazed into her eyes. She slid her hand around his sides and across his chest. She could feel him getting goose bumps as she caressed him.

“Jen,” he whispered, “I love you, Baby, but we’ve got to stop…I’ve got to stop…while I still can.”

“Yes,” he sat up, gently put her bra back in place and pulled her sweater back down to cover her, “I can always do that, Baby.”

He lay back on the bed and gathered her into his arms. She had to resist the urge to unbutton his shirt. She told herself she needed to appreciate his intentions and not make it difficult for him.

“Mmm,” he nuzzled his face into her hair, “I have the most beautiful lady in the world in my arms…and she wants to be in my arms. I’m in heaven, Baby.”

“So am I, Mitch,” she held his face there, “I only wish I didn’t have to go home. I want to sleep here in your arms…forever.”

“Jen,” he pulled her closer, “I don’t think I could hold you all night and not make love to you…I’ve never wanted a woman so bad in my life.”

“Don’t be sorry, Honey,” he chuckled, “I’m not complaining…And I want you to call me tonight if you have another one of those bad dreams, OK?”

“Yeah, Baby,” he sighed, “if you’re OK now, you should go home. It’s late. Grandma will start to worry.”

She blushed and he laughed. He got up and pulled his boots on, while she hunted for her shoes. He walked her to the truck and kissed her again.

She did need to. The dream returned and she awoke at 2:00 once again. This time she actually saw the house caving in on Mitch after he disappeared inside. She took a few minutes to gather her wits, then quietly got up, grabbed the suede coat and put it on, then went into the kitchen and dialed the phone.

“Yes,” she was crying, “It keeps getting worse. There’s more to it each time. I see more before I wake up.”

“It’s OK, Baby,” he soothed, “Don’t cry. I’m here. I’m just fine. Do you want me to come over there?”

“Oh no,” she protested, “I’d just worry more if you weren’t home. No, I’m OK. It helps to hear your voice.”

“OK,” he was speaking softly, “Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep or do you need to sit and talk for a while?”

“I think I’m OK now,” she told him, “Thanks for telling me to call you.”

“Jen,” he suggested, “I want you to go get my coat and take it to bed with you. Put it on or just sleep with it or something, OK? I know it sounds crazy, but it might help.”

“Well,” she giggled, “I guess I’m crazy then…I already have it on. I always put it on when I have that dream…it makes me feel better.”

“You’re not crazy, Baby,” he sighed, “Now, go try to get some sleep, OK?”

When Jenny pulled up to the stable the next morning, she saw Mitch’s truck at the house. She immediately grew concerned, but decided to go into the office as usual to see if Rob was there.

“Um-hmm,” he leaned back in his chair, “Showed up real early this morning…said he needed to talk to Paula.”

Rob shrugged, “Don’t know. I got out of their way so they could talk…You worried?”

“Yeah,” Jenny nodded, “I told him everything last night…about what Paula thinks and all of it.”

“I hope he’s not confronting her,” she told him, “That will only make things worse.”

“Oh,” he advised, “I wouldn’t worry about it. He kind of talks to Paula the way you talk to me. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Hey, Princess,” he opened his arms and she flew into them, “I thought I might catch you here this morning.”

“Huh?” He seemed to be confused, then it dawned on him, “Oh, yeah. I just needed to talk to Mom about something. Don’t I get a kiss?”

He bent down and gave her a long, lingering kiss that made her head spin. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Rob was still sitting at his desk, watching them. She pulled away and glanced at him, embarrassed.

Mitch laughed, “It’s OK. He knows I like you…And he’s not going to fire you for kissing me.”

“It’s OK, Squirt,” Rob got up, “I’m the one who got up early every Saturday morning for five years, picked Paula up and dropped her off for work, just so I could see her for a few minutes. I understand…And I’m going up to the house now. I never got breakfast this morning.”

“It’s OK,” Rob gave him a slap on the back as he walked out, “Just watch the time so you’re not late to work, Son.”

“Why don’t you want me to kiss you in front of him?” Mitch asked, after Rob left.

“I don’t know,” she confessed, “I mean, just a kiss is OK…but that wasn’t just a kiss, Mitch.”

“Oh,” he smiled, “You mean you don’t want me to make your toes curl in public?”

“Something like that,” she giggled, “So what were you talking to Paula about?”

“Don’t worry,” he kissed her forehead, “Everything’s fine…and I don’t think Mom will give you any more problems, either. Now, are we eating at Grandma’s tonight?”

“Well,” he informed, “I have to run home to get something on my way. I’ll meet you at your house, OK? In case we don’t get to work together again today and can’t talk, we’ll already have a plan.”

It was almost time for Jenny to leave before Rob reappeared. She was moving horses when he walked up and startled her.

“Huh?” His reaction was a mirror of Mitch’s earlier, “Oh, you mean Paula? Sure it is. I told you not to worry.”

“In a manner of speaking,” he teased back, making her blush, “Jenny, you don’t need to worry about Paula anymore, OK?”

Mitch had joined Jenny and Bessie for dinner as planned and had helped clean up as he usually did. They had spent the evening visiting in the living room, listening to Bessie tell stories about being a young girl, until she decided to retire to her room. After she left them alone, Mitch told Jenny he needed to go out for a minute. Jenny smiled when he walked back in carrying one of his old flannel shirts and a rumpled old Teddy Bear.

“Well,” he gave her a broad grin, “We’re going to try something. Tonight, before I leave, you’re going to put this old shirt of mine on to sleep in. And this guy is Teddy. I used to sleep with him when I was a little boy. I’m going to tuck you two in bed together and he’s going to take care of you and chase away the bad dreams.”

“Well,” he gave her a serious look, “I really haven’t slept with him for a while and I think he feels kind of lonely.”

She went to hug him, “You are the sweetest man in the world, do you know that?”

“I think you could be exaggerating a bit,” he kissed her, “but if you want to think that, I certainly won’t argue.”

“I love you too, Princess,” he hugged her tightly, “Now, you take this shirt and go do whatever it is you need to do before I tuck you into bed, OK?”

When Jenny came into her bedroom, the bedspread was off the bed and the covers were turned down. Mitch was standing by her bed and he looked her up and down with approval. The shirt he had given her was a plaid with blues and greens that brought out the color of her eyes and complimented her hair. She was wearing only the shirt over her underwear and it made her legs look long and inviting. She blushed when he let out a low groan at the sight of her.

“I’m jealous of Teddy,” he teased, taking her hand and leading her to bed, “He’d better behave tonight.”

“I’m sure he will,” she giggled, “I’ll call you if he gives me any trouble, OK?”

“OK,” he grinned, helping her into bed. He put Teddy next to her and tucked the covers in around her, “Now, seriously, I want you to call me if you have that dream again. I’m going to turn out the lights and lock up as I leave.”

“Mitch,” she reached up and caressed his face, “Thank you for doing this…I just wish it was you here next to me, instead of Teddy.”

She put her fingers into his hair and he bent to kiss her again, more passionately this time. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over her, one hand on each side of her head. She suddenly felt herself longing for those hands on her…all over her…and she kissed him with an urgency she hadn’t before.

He pulled back, his eyes dark with desire, “Jen, I have to leave, Baby. You curl up with Teddy and have sweet dreams…I know I will.”

“Goodnight, Baby,” he kissed her cheek, got up, turned the light off and walked out.

She listened as the front door locked behind him. The house was dark and quiet, but she could smell him all around her. She didn’t feel the emptiness when he left this time. The shirt was one he had obviously worn, but not laundered, so it was heavy with his scent. She cuddled up with Teddy and drifted off to sleep.